The Top 11 most nonsensical Top 10 lists from organisations that discredit themselves by making a Top 10 list

“Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You’re on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you’re on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where? Nowhere. Exactly. What we do, is if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do? Eleven. Exactly. One louder.” – Nigel Tufnel

I hate top 10 lists. Really, I do. I didn’t always. But really, it’s so over. These days, whenever I see anyone put out a top 10 list, I think “well there’s another unthinking lemming just following the herd who should probably be paying David Letterman some kind of royalty fee.”

So without further adieu, following is my top ELEVEN list of nonsensical top 10 lists. I’m not going to concur with or object to any of the specific rankings or exclusions on any of these top 10 lists or even rank the lists themselves because, frankly, I’m above that. Here we go:

• Doctors without Borders: Top 10 humanitarian crises

This one actually really bothers me. Doctors without Borders has a mission far more serious than any other on this list. And yet they resorted to the top 10 why? My guess is that they figured it would make headlines. Guess what – they were right. Doctors, please, you’re actually supposed to be doing some good in this world. Leave top 10 lists to the late night chat show hosts and the rest of us detritus. I mean really, if these are the top 10 humanitarian crises, tell me, what was number 11 and are we to assume that it simply isn’t worthy of our attention?

• The Georgian Times: Top 10 Political Events for 2009

Go ahead, take a look at the list. Oh my God! I cannot believe ___ is ranked at ___!!! What a __!!!

• Council on Foreign Relations: Top 10 game changers in US China relations

Given how CFR in general carries itself as though it were above the hoi polloi, I find it rather unexpected that they would stoop so low as to put out a top list of any sort.

• Wall Street Journal: Top 10 Private Equity stories

zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

• Foreign Policy: Top 10 stories you missed in 2009

If this sounds familiar, it’s probably because I posted #8 at the beginning of this month.

• The Daily Telegraph’s Nile Gardiner: Barack Obama’s Top Ten Foreign Policy Follies

Perhaps a worthy if unpleasant exercise, but both the author and newspaper have decidedly proven themselves guilty of following the herd.

• MSNBC: Top 10 political downfalls of the decade

MSNBC is openly pushing the top 10 listicle as a viable form of commentary as this is merely just one of many that they are blessing us with this holiday season. Come to think of it, I guess it’s pretty to hard to discredit oneself when one has no credibility to begin with.

• The New York Post is inviting readers to vote on the top 10 Post front pages of the decade. 

See previous entry re: credibility.

• The Lonely Planet: Top 10 countries to travel to in 2010

This is just inane.

• The New York Times: Top 10 sports matches of the decade

I suppose if there’s anything that was made for the top 10 format it would have to be sports related. Still annoying.

Finally, if you still haven’t had enough…

• Time Magazine has up its “Top 10 Everything of 2009“. Lord help us.

Honourable mention:

• Top 10 football goals of the decade, according to huycen1995
• Laura Rozen of Politico, Top 10: the enough-already, foreign policy edition
• Timothy Karr discusses the Top 10 internet moments of 2009 in the Huffington Post
• The Times of London on Britain’s Top 10 New Year’s day brunches

Now, is everybody as sick as I am of Top 10 lists? Here’s to a new year when bloggers, reporters, analysts and citizens the world over start doing something original and stop being so reductionist!