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Grigory Pasko: The School of Kreativ

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The loud advertising posts for this book scream out that before us is not just any book, but – «a paper virus of sorts, which takes possession of the mind and expands the boundaries for the realization of creative possibilities. Here are presented creative schemes that all who desire will be able to use!»

In actuality, there aren’t any schemes in the book (and where would authors who haven’t even fully mastered the language get them, anyway?). And as for all that business about a «virus which takes possession of the mind», it’s a bit overstated as well: only if the reader didn’t have a mind to begin with.

There’s even a website of the «warriors of kreativ» (I am purposely not providing a link here, so as not to disseminate spam). The website has information about how there exist certain Schools of Kreativ [This completely foreign word has only recently appeared in Russian. It sounds very cutting-edge and hip, and as is so often the case, it has acquired a uniquely Russian meaning, mysteriously becoming a noun and being used in ways that are rather unorthodox and, well, kreativ!–Trans.].


For example, the Far Eastern School of Kreativ (all the words capitalized [Ordinarily, only the first word would be capitalized in Russian–Trans.],which bears witness once again to the ambitiousness of the authors andto their own insufficient knowledge of the Russian language). Thisschool, apparently, unites «within itself the warkreats [that is, “warriors of kreativ”–G.P.]of the Far East of Russia. In the school there supposedly are: a “Bankof ideas” – a generator of solutions of the most differentdirectionality with the application of modern methodics andtechnologies»; a “Russian page” – a project oriented at theconstruction of housing with the use of rapidly-erectable constructionsand the hooking up of alternative power generation modules to providefor the autonomy of the house/settlement»; “New world” – aninformational project, aimed at the revival of patriotism and thecreation of a strong and attractive image of the ethnic Russian [againwith orthographically incorrect capitalization–Trans.] and of Russia asa whole» and all kinds of other malarkey in the same spirit.

The book is full of pathos, elements of nazism, primitivism inthought and reasoning, mysteriousness (Mystery – the wisdom of idiots!)The cowardice of the authors manifests itself in that they are afraidto name countries: instead of this, figuring in their book are theUntied States of Amerika, the Jewropean Union, Cathayna, Oasia…

And for even more mysteriousness, on the cover of the book isindicated: «This book made its way to the publisher from an unknownsource by way of Feldjäger [government courier, yet another foreignword that has acquired a kreativ new meaning in Russian–Trans.]dispatch».

By whom was this book written and why? This becomes comprehensibleafter reading such citations: «The universal consciously perceived needwas growing for a concrete person, capable of embodying… strength, butthere were no such figures born (?!) among world leaders… The Russianpresident was the first to put his stake on such leadership [Okay,finally it’s understood that we’re talking here about Putin–G.P.]. Heknew what to say to the world [and did exactly the opposite in theworld and in his own country!–G.P.], but opportunities to spread theword about his position were limited. [Limited by whom? Nobody everprohibited Putin (and it is Putin-the-beloved we’re talking abouthere!) from bullying the world in Munich, and then from whisperingsomething economically unintelligible in Davos–G.P.]

Continuing the citation: «To break through the global informationblockade around the «real Russia» seemed an impossible thing. But theRussian president managed to do it… Without reinventing the wheel, thepresident was able to achieve an absolutely simultaneous coverage ofthe world audience without a loss of quality of the messedzh!»[message: an even more recent arrival into the Russian language, ithasn’t yet had a chance to get distorted much in meaning–Trans.]

So there would be no doubt that the book is written about Putin andfor Putin and lovers of his style and figure as a whole, I will cite anexcerpt from the advertising post for the book: «Be that as it may,today there exists a strategy for the development of Russia all the wayto the year 2020, voiced by Vladimir Putin, and it demands themobilization of all of society. How will the creative [using the nowold-fashioned Russian word tvorcheskaya in this case–Trans.] stratum ofsociety participate in the national breakthrough? Those who presenttexts to the world or create scripts, shape public opinion, think upconceptions of advertising campaigns and PR-actions, amaze all withdesign and in general create mass culture? This new Kremlin [italicsmine–G.P.] book, perhaps, suggests the directions for the search for ananswer to this question. All the more so given that both the current(until the inauguration in May of a new “guarantor of theConstitution”) and the just elected president of Russia are some of themain heroes of the book».

So now we see who the real «warriors of kreativ» are – why, it’s Putin and Medvedev.

Okay, we’ve arrived. At the end – a typical comment about this bookon the web: «The author’s brain – the brain of a true blonde [While itis universal wisdom in Russia that women with light-colored hair arestupid by definition, this doesn’t explain the mystery of why so manydark-haired Russian women insist on coloring their hair blonde–Trans.],having picked up a couple of terms from PR technologies and notunderstanding a thing about it in actual fact…I spent a long timespitting after reading».

So you wouldn’t feel the urge to spit yourselves – be careful: don’t buy the book.

Image:  After reading so much about kreativ, Grigory Pasko feltinspired to amaze the world audience with his own conception of a coverfor the book (photo by Grigory Pasko)