The Ustinov Apology to Khodorkovsky

This one was published earlier this week in the Moscow Times, but I still thought it would be worth posting up. Mark H. Teeter leaps all over the recent quote by Yuri Chaika, in which he said that prosecutors who have made mistakes will have to “apologize” to their victims. From here he jumps to an imaginary encounter between Prosecutor General Vladimir Ustinov and Mikhail Khodorkovsky. It is indeed difficult to imagine this guy apologizing for anything, let alone the biggest political frame-up of post-Soviet history:

“Wait, don’t tell me. You’ve discovered nine more Yukos tax violations and I’m looking at another five years of mitten sewing, right? But I’m curious — Why did Chaika send you to tell me?” “Actually, Mikhail Borisovich, I’m here to … to … hmm, this is harder than I thought … to … to … ” “C’mon, Porky, spit it out, I’ve got mittens that can’t wait. To kneecap me for old times’ sake? To shoot me while I’m ‘trying to escape’? What?” “To … APOLOGIZE! There, I said it. The case against you was a big political frame-up, and I’m here to apologize for it, OK? [thud!] Mikhail!! Guard! He’s fainted or something! Help!“